In this Part 2 of our series on Indigenous Wisdom on Pregnancy Loss, we’re exploring pregnancy loss as a birth process, and also looking at the practice by many indigenous traditions of offering and facilitating postpartum care and healing for a mother who has experienced loss. This article will be a bit more detailed than usual, and please also look out for further resources right at the end of the article.
Let’s begin..
The mission of my work as a Womb Healer is to help women heal their womb wounds and pains and reclaim the power and sovereignty of their wombs. And, part of the work of liberating and reclaiming the sovereignty of our wombs is the work of getting to know what our wombs truly represent in our lives – as creation portals that are connected to the heavenly realms, and of getting to know what is happening in our bodies through the various rites of passage of our womanhood.
It is a work of remembering and reclaiming the wisdom, the knowledge, and the mysteries of our bodies and wombs as women. And it is a work of stepping into our authority, around our bodies and wombs, throughout our menstruating years, in our fertility, in pregnancy, in birth, and in menopause.
And, within the body of work of Womb Healing for Pregnancy Loss, there’s an invitation for us as women to understand the nature and the process of a loss – the stages of how it unfolds, and what it looks and feels like, when left to progress on its own without surgical intervention.
And, there exists this invitation for us to understand what is happening in our bodies during this experience, so we may grow to make empowered choices about our bodies and wombs – choices that are aligned with our values and that support our holistic and long-term well-being, and enable us to thrive.
When we lean in closer, and study the process of a miscarriage, stillbirth, or an abortion that is allowed to progress naturally without surgical intervention, we see that it starts with cramping and contractions, followed by the release of the life and matter formed after conception, and then concluded with the release of the placenta, just like how the process of birth unfolds.
And, we begin to see that the process of pregnancy loss mirrors that of birth.
We begin to see that pregnancy loss is a birth process.
While it isn’t the birth of a live baby, it is the birth of the life and matter that form after conception. Additionally, it is the birth of the mother herself. For, in birth, not only a baby is born, but a mother too. Thus, while her baby might not be here with us, she nonetheless becomes a mother. And, there needs to be an acknowledgement and processing of who she has become, even in the physical absence of her baby.
This experience of pregnancy loss being a birth process might be clearer to see in a stillbirth, where the pregnancy has progressed significantly and the baby has grown. But, when we look at what happens in the body for a non-surgical miscarriage and a non-surgical abortion (starting with the cramping and contractions, then the birth itself), we see that loss even at the earlier stages of pregnancy is a birth process too.
And, when we allow ourselves to see pregnancy loss as more than just the “expulsion of conception tissue”, because it is so much more than that, we allow ourselves a much extended scope of the healing that can happen after loss, and the permission to process all the emotions and the shifts in your life and who you are that might come with the loss.
Let’s pause here, and take a breath..
Held within this understanding of pregnancy loss as a birth process is the invitation to widen the scope of the healing and care that is needed for your body, your womb, and key areas of your life after loss.
And, this is something that is understood by Elders within many indigenous traditions, and that informed yesteryear practices and protocols of postpartum care and healing for a mother who had experienced pregnancy loss. With the awareness of pregnancy loss as a birth process, Elders within many indigenous traditions would support the mother through a period of confinement, during which she would be supported in healing her body and womb, and in mourning the loss of her child.
In the Setswana tradition of the Tswana people in Botswana, a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss (whether a miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion) is believed to need a period of healing, regardless of how far along she had been in the pregnancy. To support this healing, the mother would go into a period of confinement for a minimum of three months, just like a mother who had given birth to a live baby. This period of confinement, which could also be extended to six months, was informed by the belief that the mother needed a secluded space to heal and recover.
This healing could be holistic, encompassing the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. This period of confinement also allowed the mother an opportunity to process and integrate the experience she had just had and to mourn the loss of her baby. Regardless of how far along she might have been, it was believed that pregnancy loss was a loss, like any loss of a loved one, and that she needed space and time to grieve. And, given that this mother was to be cared for just as a mother who had given birth to a live baby, she would have a designated elder and a community of support, who looked after her and attended to her needs.
While interviewing Mma Marokane and Mma Moreri for my ebook on Setswana Indigenous Teachings & Practices for Pregnancy Loss, it was very interesting and intriguing to learn that, in olden days, Tswana Elders would facilitate postpartum care for a mother who had experienced pregnancy loss just as they would for a mother who had given birth to a live baby. And this practice was informed by the appreciation of pregnancy loss as a birth process, and an understanding of the care and healing that the mother thus needed. You can read more on these postpartum care practices in Chapter 1.3 of my ebook mentioned above. Download a free copy here >>.
And, here are some reflection questions:
Reflection Questions:
- Do you know of any postpartum care practices within your community or tradition for mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss?
- What are some of what your community or tradition has in place to support the healing of women after loss?
- And, what are some of how your community or tradition honours pregnancy loss as a birth process and a rite of passage?
- Also. Might you notice any similarities between the Setswana practices of caring for a mother after loss and those in your own community or tradition?
Further Resources:
For further reading, check out the article and books linked below for: a deeper understanding of the nature and process of a miscarriage, and a teaching on the options that women have for starting and completing a miscarriage; stories of women of colour who have experienced loss; and, to learn how to prepare for and care for your body in postpartum.
Article: Every Woman’s Guide to Safe and Empowered Miscarriage Options, by Dr. Aviva Romm
Book: What God is Honored Here? Writings on Miscarriage and Infant Loss by and for Native Women and Women of Color, edited by Shannon Gibney and Kao Kalia Yang
Book: The Forth Trimester, by Kimberly Ann Johnson
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Until next time,
Tumelo.
PS: This series on Indigenous Wisdom on Pregnancy Loss is part of an introduction to my body of work on Womb Healing for Pregnancy Loss. If you’re feeling called and ready for your womb healing journey, you can book a Womb Healing Consultation Session here >>, and/or apply for 1-on-1 womb healing work in ENLIVEN here >>.