In this maiden conversation of the Tumelo Moreri Podcast, I talk to Tonderai Chiyindiko, a Johannesburg-based Actor and Creative Consultant, about his experiences and socialization around sex, sexuality and pleasure as a Black, African, Shona man.

Quite candidly, Tonderai shares some of how he was socialized into sex as an adolescent boy, and we also explore why the socialization of our world is one without room for conversation on sex and what the impact of this is in the sexual lives of women, men, girls and boys.

We talk about why men lie about sex; why sex changes once people get married; why women fake orgasms; extra-marital affairs; FGM and the societal beliefs around sexual pleasure for women; and so much more!

This is such a jam-packed conversation, and here are some of the highlights!

00:00               Welcome to the Tumelo Moreri Podcast Show!

03:51               Why our socialization is one without room for conversation on sex

07:33               The impact of a lack of education on sex for African adolescent boys – the story of a Shona man

15:51               Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and societal beliefs around sexual pleasure for women

18:12               “Faking an orgasm is a crime against humanity”

21:37               “Men lie about sex”

30:17               Why women fake orgasms – the story of a Tswana woman

37:02               Sex in marriage – “[Sexually], the unhappiest people I know are married people”

38:18               Why does the sex change once people get married?

53:32               The societal shame around menstruation AND sex

1:03:48            How YOU can be part of this conversation!

Click play to listen to this week’s episode and share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.